Monday, December 6, 2010

I just... I mean... and...

While I was at the store buying waffles and french toast (Don't judge me!), I, as one is wont to do, ended up in the checkout lane. "How about $9.98." said the cashier to the lady in front of me, making a statement that seemed less inquisitive and more an assault on the very idea of communication itself. The middle aged lady buying pickles took a $20 out of her purse, looked up at the total, then said "I'll just give you two pennies and you can give me a $10 back." She handed her $20.02 to the cashier, who took the money and plugged the total into the machine. The drawer opened and she began placing the money she had received into it, taking note of the change that should be given. She began putting the pennies into the drawer then paused.

She looked at the pennies, at the lady, at the screen, then repeated this round-robin betwixt those involved several times before saying "I don't know what happened. The total was $9.98, and I put in $20.02." The pickle lady looked at the screen and said "Well, somebodies math was wrong." in an accusatory manner that seemed to suggest the honest belief that she felt the machine was so bad at math that it could not subtract hundredths of a dollar correctly. She left.

I came home, opened my french toast, and noted that there were two separate plastic packages in my box of 6 french toasts. Handy, that will keep the others from getting freezer burn. Then I noticed the back of the box which stated that I was only supposed to eat two of the three toasts, proclaiming through it's little white nutrition box that to do otherwise would be gluttony and, therefor, I would be contributing to the downfall of western civilization.


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